I’ve probably written about this before, but it’s worth mentioning again: If you’re interested in building the skill of mindfulness, regular practice is crucial. A lot of people are put off by the idea of mindfulness because they think it’s the same as meditation or that they have to sit and focus on their breathing for an hour at a time. As it turns out, you don’t need to do that if you don’t want to.
Mindfulness is simply being awake to and aware of your experience in the present moment. Meditation is one way to do this, but it’s not the only way. You can be mindful by paying attention to someone you’re having a conversation with, the experience of brushing your teeth in the morning, the sights and sounds that you experience while walking down the street, how your breakfast tastes, and so forth. You can practice mindfulness anytime, anywhere. We often think of mindfulness as a practice focused on your experience in the present moment, so it might surprise you to learn that you can also be mindful of your thoughts (or worries/ruminations) about the past or the future.
Although mediation isn’t necessary, it can be helpful if you’re willing to give it a try. I find sitting meditation practice to be helpful for a few practical reasons. First, this practice encourages me to let go of everything else that I am doing or might want to do and just sit and do nothing. I don’t often get the opportunity to just sit and do nothing, so this is pretty valuable to me. Second, sitting still and focusing on my breathing has helped me learn how to tolerate and resist acting on impulses and urges. If you sit for long enough, you’re going to have many impulses and urges, such as to move, scratch an itch, dwell on unproductive or upsetting things, and so on. By simply sitting and experiencing your breathing, you might find that it becomes easier to not act on such urges and impulses. Even better, you might become more effective at avoiding doing or saying things that you later regret in your everyday life! Third, mediation allows me to experience the rise and fall of upsetting thoughts and emotions. One of the things we often teach people in DBT is that emotions come and go. They might be incredibly painful at times, but they don’t last forever and are safe and tolerable. I find that, when I sit still and open up to the experience of the present moment, painful emotions sometimes come, and they always go – sometimes not as quickly as I want them to, but they pass nevertheless.
As mentioned, you don’t have to choose sitting meditation as your practice, but I would recommend that you choose some kind of practice and do it every day if possible. I usually schedule myself to do my mindfulness practice after breakfast every morning. Some mornings, I have more time than others. If I can only sit for two minutes, then I sit for two minutes. If I have time to sit for 15 minutes, then I do that. You don’t need to sit every day for an hour to experience benefits from your mindfulness practice. Consistency and regularity are much more important than duration. The more often you practice, the more often you are reminding your brain of what it’s like to experience the present moment. ~Alexander L. Chapman, Ph.D., R.Psych.