One of the DBT mindfulness skills involves doing things one-mindfully. This means doing one thing at a time and bringing your full attention to that one thing. When people learn this skill, they often wonder how on earth they are going to do that. How many activities in life involve simply doing one task? Not very many. Even when we go out for a walk, we are doing more than one thing: we might be walking, looking at the sights around us, hearing sounds, feeling the sensation of the air, looking both ways when we cross the street, and so forth. Similarly, driving, cooking, having a conversation with someone, and even eating involve many activities packed into one. When you’re out for a drive, you can’t very well say that you’re only going to steer (not not do anything else) because you’re trying to practice the DBT skill of doing things one mindfully! Furthermore, sometimes combining more than one activity can actually help us focus and be more effective, as long as doing so doesn’t prevent us from fully engaging in the experience of the present moment.
A couple of weeks ago, I attended a full-day workshop on Zoom. I was really interested in the topic and willing to put myself through six or seven hours of sitting in front of my screen and paying attention. I often give workshops on Zoom, so I put other people through this all the time. It wasn’t easy, though! I quickly discovered that the best way to get the most out of this workshop and remain fully engaged was to continuously take notes. Often when I attend Zoom talks or trainings, I get Zoom fatigue, and then become distracted and slip into other activities, such as checking email, looking out the window, and not really listening. This time, I really wanted to make the most of this training, so I committed to listening and taking notes for the entire time. At first, it felt like a lot of effort, but I soon discovered that taking notes forced me to pay close attention to everything the speaker was saying. One could say that I was doing two things at once, which seems to go against the principle of doing things one-mindfully; however, I like to think of attending the training as one multifaceted activity. Taking notes anchored me within that activity. As such, I would still call this the practice of being one-mindful.
If you have activities in everyday life that you have a hard time fully engaging with, you might consider what you can do to give yourself an anchor in that activity. If it’s attending a class or a training, good old-fashioned note-taking might be just what you need. Some people also find it helpful to currently use a fidget toy or something else that provides light stimulation and anchors the mind. This is probably why I find it helpful to sometimes work in coffee shops. After a few hours of working in my quiet home or work office, I find that things get a little stale. If I go out to a coffee shop, where I can hear the buzz of conversation and see people coming and going, I find it easier to fully engage in my work. If you have trouble focusing during conversations, see if there’s some anchor you can hold onto that helps you stay in the present. That anchor might just be your breathing. Whenever your mind wanders or you get caught up in planning the next thing to say to the person, come back to your breathing, and then one mindfully listen and speak.
In summary, the DBT skill of doing things one-mindfully involves fully engaging in one task at a time. While this may seem challenging in our multitasking world, incorporating anchors can help us stay present and engaged. Sometimes these anchors involve doing more than one thing at a time, and yet, they can still help us enhance our focus and fully experience the present moment. ~Alexander L. Chapman, Ph.D., R.Psych.