Sometimes rituals and routines get a bad rap. People wonder why they can’t just be spontaneous, go with the flow, and do what their moods and interests are telling them to do. Well, there’s no reason not to do those things most the time. If, however, you struggle with a mood disorder, it can be helpful to organize your behaviour according to something other than your mood, such as a schedule or your values. Moods tend to love themselves, so if you do what your mood is telling you to do, you’ll probably get more of the same mood. I have found that the same goes with periods of ongoing, chronic stress. If I were to just do what my stress is telling me to do, I might decide to withdraw from a lot of the activities I normally engage in, and that probably wouldn’t be good for me. Ratcheting back a bit, saying no to extra stuff, and taking a bit more time off, though is probably a good idea.
During times of stress, I’ve found it helpful to establish at least some special rituals and to tie those rituals to daily activities that I have to do anyway. I know this isn’t true of everyone, but a few things that I really enjoy include eating, reading novels, and watching really compelling TV shows. Even during periods of intense stress and high workload, I find that rituals incorporating some of these three things can provide a sanctuary, helping me manage stress and keep up with the things that are important to me. Because I love food so much, my normal ritual is to take a break and really enjoy eating whenever I have a meal or a snack. In the morning, for example, I listen to the news on the radio while preparing breakfast, sit and read a novel (or watch a show) while eating, and then mindfully tidy up before I get a start to the day. Usually, when I have a snack, I take a short break, read, sit outside, etc. Because I snack so often, I get a lot of breaks! I’ve found that turning a daily activity that could easily become mindless and mundane into something special that I can do at least a few times a day gives me something to look forward to. These special rituals are a bulletproof set of breaks during an otherwise busy and stressful time.
If eating really isn’t your thing, it might be worth considering other activities that you do on a regular basis – things that just have to happen, such as walking, talking with loved ones, doing yard work, or even going to the bathroom. Try to turn that activity into something special, something that gives you a break, a chance to recharge, and a sanctuary from whatever else is happening in your life. ~Alexander L. Chapman, Ph.D., R.Psych.