Have you ever noticed that, when we have limited options, small things can become a big deal? Back when I was a poor graduate student, and there was no Netflix or any such thing as a streaming service, it would be a big deal for my wife and I to go to Blockbuster video, rent a movie, and order a $10 pizza on a Friday night. It was a real treat. Back then, there was no other way to decide exactly what movie we wanted to watch at home, and video stores were king. If we had access to many different streaming services and could choose among thousands of shows and movies to watch at any given moment, those Friday night dates would not have been nearly as special. If we had enough money to buy something other than pizza, it probably wouldn’t have tasted quite so good! I think many of us have noticed this during the pandemic, when simply going out to a coffee shop or restaurant became a real treat, because our options were so limited for so long (and even when options opened up, some of us were probably still too cautious to take advantage of them).
In fact, to my delight, that feeling of small things being a treat has stayed with me. I’m currently sitting outside at a coffee shop, having bought coffee beans and received a free coffee. I’m still finding this all to be so novel and wonderful: I can actually go out to a coffee shop, and they’re willing to give me a free coffee just because I bought coffee beans! I can sit outside or inside among other people, enjoy coffee and a treat, read my book, and so forth. Eventually, my brain will probably settle down and get used to this new level of freedom involving more options, but I hope it doesn’t happen anytime soon.
How can we maintain our delight in small, simple things? I think this is a pretty important question, as daily life is full of these small, simple things. Taking a short break to sit outside and enjoy the sunshine, the clouds in the sky, the birds, and the emerging flora of spring, is a pretty small and simple thing, but it can be very life enhancing. I think one way to really appreciate little things is to foster a mindset of curiosity, openness, and gratitude for whatever we are experiencing in the here and now. When you step outside and walk to your car or the bus to go to work for the thousandth time, try to do it as if it’s the first time. See if you can notice something you hadn’t noticed before. Look around you with curiosity. Notice how you feel in your body. Maybe see if you can generate some gratitude that you are even able to do this activity.
I think a second way to enjoy the little things is to limit your options. Scarcity seems to breed appreciation. Instead of signing up for 10 different streaming services, consider reducing that number. Sometimes, when we want to watch a movie that’s not on one of our two services, I will put it on hold at the library, and when it becomes available, it’s a lot more exciting than it would’ve been if all it took was a quick search and the click of a button.
As a nice side effect, I also think that having slightly more limited options can reduce stress and decision-making fatigue. Whenever we have to decide as a family which is the next TV series we will watch, there are so many options (and so many different ways to research those options, let alone different preferences among different family members) that we sometimes just give up and decide to take a break and not watch anything. Or, we end up rewatching something (which is probably why I’ve watched LOST three times now, although I have thoroughly enjoyed each viewing). Similarly, if you’ve had a long day and are starving and trying to decide what to order for takeout, this decision can be stressful and overwhelming. There are so many options to choose from that you might just default to doing the same thing over and over again, such as ordering takeout, eating a bowl of cereal, and so on.
Living with slightly limited options might seem like just an annoying way to curtail your freedom, but I think it could also help most of us experience the small things in life with much greater appreciation and reduce the drag of constant decision-making fatigue. ~Alexander L. Chapman, Ph.D., R.Psych.