Meditation is not easy for most people. It would seem that sitting quietly and focusing on your breathing would be one of the simplest, most natural activities in the world. After along, we’re always breathing, and most of us sit for the majority of our waking hours (indeed, sitting is sometimes considered the “new smoking”). The last thing one of my zen teachers ever said to me was “sit, breathe.” This, of course, is great advice. One of the most fundamental practices in any form of mindfulness meditation is simply sitting and experiencing the present moment. So, why is it so difficult to just simply sit and breathe? Anyone who has tried this knows that the incessant activity of our minds makes it very hard to sit and be present with our current experience. When we’re not engaged in some kind of goal-directed activity, our brains often default to what some people consider “daydreaming” or “default” mode. In this mode, our minds jump from idea to idea, think about and process past experiences, consider (and worry about) future possibilities, fantasize, plan, and so on, nearly endlessly. All of this mental activity is often so compelling that we end up jumping on the thought train without even knowing it. In no time, the meditation bell rings, and we realize that we’ve spent the whole 15 minutes on that thought train.
How can we make it easier to be fully present during meditation? First, I’ve found that it helps to stop trying so hard. I know that might sound a little odd, but if I approach meditation with the idea that I really have to stay focused (!!), I often find it much harder to stay focused. So, I recommend a “light” approach to meditation. Sink into your seat or cushion, and allow your mind to settle. Don’t force it to settle. Just be light and gentle with your practice. Don’t try to stop your mind from wandering. Just notice when it wanders, and lightly and gently guide it back to your breathing. Be easy on yourself. Second, it can be helpful to breathe with your whole mind and body, not just with your lungs. This means that each inhale is like breathing in with your whole mind and body. Fill the entire moment/second with your breath. Doing this makes it harder to get snagged with thoughts, emotions and urges. In fact, when thoughts, emotions, and urges arise, simply breathe them all in, too, and then breathe them out again. Third, be consistent with your practice. Try to establish a daily practice. Regular practice will make it easier to be fully present. Also, if you practice every day, you will get the experience of sitting during really difficult times and during easier times. If you have a really hard time, you know it’s OK, because you’ll be right back on that cushion or chair doing the same thing again tomorrow. We don’t expect every breakfast to be the ultimate breakfast, and if we make meditation like breakfast, we can lighten our expectations about it. Just approach your practice with sincerity and consistency. Fourth, try to expand your practice beyond sitting quietly somewhere. Meditation and mindfulness can have a positive effect on your daily life if you remember to practice in small ways throughout the day, while walking, eating, talking with someone else, or just while sitting somewhere waiting for the bus, while stuck in traffic, etc. Try to expand the situations in which you practice. You will not only get a ton of practice, but you’ll also be fully engaged and present for much more of your life. – Alexander L. Chapman, Ph.D., R.Psych.