Doing vs. Being Mindset

I was talking to a student the other day about how easy it can be to get caught in the trap of having to make everything we do goal-oriented and efficient. This task-oriented frame of mind is often effective at helping us get things done. If we weren’t task-focused, many of the things we do would probably never get done on time. A task-oriented frame of mind focusing on efficiency is a lot like what we call Reasonable Mind in DBT. Other approaches to mindfulness also have a name for this: Doing Mind. Reasonable mind and doing mind have many benefits. They help us think clearly, solve important problems, use logic to better understand an issue, efficiently organize and get things done, and so on. We really couldn’t get by without doing mind or reasonable mind. I am quite grateful for my doing and reasonable minds, in that being efficient and task-focused helps me to get my work done and still have time to do other things, such as spend time with family, engage in recreational activities, and so on. Sometimes, however, this getting-it-done frame of mind can suck the life out of the activities that I do. If I’m just writing a book chapter (or blog) mainly to get it done and checked off my to do list (which incidentally is very rewarding to me), I take a very different approach than I do if my goal is to write an excellent chapter. I tend to work more quickly, reflect a lot less on what I am going to say or how to say it, and spend less time reviewing my work before finishing it. Instead, if I bring more of a being mindset to my writing, I am a lot more willing to let go of time pressure, dive in and participate fully in the writing process, review, tinker with my work, reflect, and consider the bigger picture – whether what I have to say is important or useful. The same goes for other activities in my life, such as my practice of martial arts, cooking, or interacting with others. If I’m in doing mind while speaking with my family members, I am a lot more curt, abrupt, and impatient than I am if I’m trying to be mindful of the interaction. Yet, it is so easy to fall into the crash and burn approach to the things we have to get done in every day life. Students often procrastinate on their essays until crunch time is upon them, and then they furiously focus and get their work done as quickly and efficiently as possible. As someone who often reviews these essays, I can tell when someone hasn’t taken the time to step back and really think about what they’re saying. I also think there are downsides to a doing mind approach to mental health and recovery. Now, it is indeed important to be organized, focused, and hard-working in order to learn the skills to overcome mental health problems. At the same time, people often take an urgent, crash and burn approach to this area as well, expecting to be able to fix themselves (or their loved ones) as quickly as possible and feeling demoralized when the path to recovery has many more twists, turns, and switchbacks than expected. This is perfectly understandable. If you have been suffering for a long time, you just want it to be over. Take the time, however, to really be on the path. Take a break from racing down the path, reflect on where you are, and experience the sights and sounds. Or, to look at it from another angle, if you were building your dream home, you would probably want to take the time to make sure you have hired the right people, that the foundation is strong, and so on. Balancing the being and doing mindset can help you do just that. ~Alexander L. Chapman, Ph.D., R.Psych.