Myth 5: People who self-harm are mentally ill.

As indicated earlier in this blog, self-harm is generally a red flag that someone is struggling with emotional distress. This doesn’t mean, however, that all people who self-harm are mentally ill. In particular, many people think that self-harm is a sign of borderline personality disorder or BPD. In fact, many people with BPD (75%) harm themselves at some point during their lives (Gunderson, 2001). So, if you suffer from BPD, you are likely to have self-harmed. This does not mean that you have BPD if you self-harm. The reverse of a true statement is not necessarily true! For instance, “If you are reading this blog, you are likely to be on the computer” is a true statement- The reverse, however, “If you are on a computer, you are likely to be reading this blog” is simply false! Research does show that, among adolescents and college students, over half of people who self-harm did not meet criteria for a psychiatric disorder (Hodgson, 2004).

Myth 3: Self-harm is for girls.

Many people have a stereotyped image of an adolescent female when they think of a person who self-harms. Although rates of self-harm are higher among adolescents (13-15% in some studies, Ross & Heath, 2002; much higher in other studies), nearly half of all people who self-harm are between 25 and 45 years old (Auseinet, 2007).  In fact, 5% of people who self-harm are over 65 years old (Pierce, 1987). Furthermore, although past research indicated that females were more likely to self-harm than males (World Health Organization, 1989), more recent research shows that males are just as likely to self-harm as are females (Gratz, 2001; Gratz & Chapman, 2007; Klonsky, Oltmanns, & Turkheimer, 2003). Researchers have speculated that past studies found self-harm to be more common among women simply because men often did not tell people about their self-harm. These statistics reveal that self-harm can be a problem for many people, and is not at all limited to a subset of female teenagers.

Myth 2: People self-harm to manipulate others.

As mentioned before, the number one reason people engage in self-harm is to manage overwhelming negative emotions (70-96% of the time; Briere & Gil, 1998; Brown et al., 2002). Often, self-harm is triggered by emotions such as anger, sadness, or shame. Occasionally, however, people do report using self-harm to communicate their distress to other people, or to elicit support from the environment. This is usually a more common reason for self-harm among incarcerated populations (Holmqvist, Carlberg, & Hellgren, 2008) than the reason for self-harm among people in the community. As noted previously, sometimes friends and family do behave differently after someone self-harms. But just because people who self-harm may get more support because of their self-harm, it does not mean they did it on purpose in order to obtain support. If people receive consistent support and attention only after they self-harm, it may actually make it more likely that they self-harm in the future. Often, we’re unaware of why we do what we do, and if we get positive consequences, we just keep doing it- not to be mean or manipulative, but because it works. This is particularly the case if an individual does not have many other “tools” available for reaching out for support. Friends and family of people who self-harm may “feel” manipulated, but that doesn’t mean that the person who self-harms is manipulative.

Myths of Self-Harm

There are many myths surrounding self-harm.  These misconceptions can make it difficult for people to talk to others about their self-harm and even prevent them from getting the kind of support from friends and family that they need. The next several blogs will provide some information to clear up these myths that are often barriers to reaching out for help.

Myth 1: People self-harm in order to get attention.

Often, there is a misconception that people self-harm only to get attention from others. In a small minority of cases, self-harm may be a way to communicate distress to others. In the majority of cases, however, people engage in self-harm to relieve unbearable distress and emotional pain. Between 70% (Briere & Gil, 1998) and 96% (Brown et al., 2002) of people who self-harm indicated that they harmed themselves “to stop bad feelings” or to relieve or distract from painful feelings. Sometimes, people who engage in self-harm actually do get more attention from others. Just because they may get more attention, however, doesn’t mean that the person engaged in self-harm on purpose with the intent of getting attention. In fact, a large majority (nearly 75%) of people who self-harm go to great lengths to hide this behaviour from other people (Children, Youth, and Women’s health, 2009)- the opposite of using it to get attention!